WIFE VS. HUSBAND
WOMEN' S REVENGE
"Cash, cheque card or charge-card?" I asked, after folding up the
items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you
always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, but my
husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN - (FROM A MAN 'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understan d
how you can take b! oiling hot wax pour it onto your thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
The wife said "See".
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you
get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can
just wait for my coffee." The wife replied, "No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the
coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me " The wife
fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of se! veral pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break
the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake
me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
&nb! sp; his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped
for these kinds of contests.
"Cash, cheque card or charge-card?" I asked, after folding up the
items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you
always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, but my
husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN - (FROM A MAN 'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understan d
how you can take b! oiling hot wax pour it onto your thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
The wife said "See".
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you
get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can
just wait for my coffee." The wife replied, "No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the
coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me " The wife
fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of se! veral pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break
the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake
me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
&nb! sp; his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped
for these kinds of contests.
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