The Dog

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester,
he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him."Hmmmm," he
wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?" Then he gets an idea. He calls
his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern
education are coming up with! Why, they have a program here that will
teach Fido how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.
"How do I get him in that program?" "Just send him down here with
$1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course." So, his father
sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the
money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing,
son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this, they've had such good results with
this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals to
READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to
get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
And his father sends the money. At the end of the semester, the boy has
a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can
neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his
father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him
talk and listen to him read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have
some grim news. This morning when I got out of the shower, Fido was in
the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper,
like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy
still messin" around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'
" The father says,"Damn; I hope you SHOT that lyin' dog!" "I sure did,
Dad!"